Snog, marry, avoid?

Girls night out tonight. As you would expect 11 girls who work with 45 boys only have one topic of conversation when they go out to dinner. That would be the 45 boys they work with. And despite the age range of 23-35 it all devolved into one big round game of Snog, Marry or Avoid.

Every one of my three choices contained Byron. Figures right? Perils of working together I guess people are bound to make up rumours.

On the way home though I gave it some thought. Byron and I are playing our own version of Snog, Marry Avoid.

Snog - well we make out like teenagers whenever we can steal 30 minutes alone (he's also currently getting the occasional blow job from me. I really should stop that but I find it too much fun myself so doubt I will).

Marry - well this is an abstract one for us. We're not actually having sex which is kinda like a marriage. We argue like a long married couple. Knowing my luck I will marry the annoying little shorty and one or both of us is going to end up cheating on the other. Fidelity isn't exactly a strong suit for either of us it seems.

Avoid - well he's been doing that since Monday night (i.e. the last time he got his dick sucked). I'm trying to rationally tell myself it's a busy week at work. However its that time of the month when I'm irrational as fuck. So ranting about it here. Because otherwise tomorrow I might bite his head off entirely rather than dropping to my knees and giving him head....

Sex, Lies and Videotapes

So I was a little bad before Christmas. I gave Byron a blow job in our offices after hours the Friday before Christmas. I was a little bad again last night when I gave him another one after work in my bedroom.

Ok so the night before Christmas. After hours in the office. Just the two of us, alternating between chatting nicely, me learning new things about the business, his hand up my skirt and me on my knees in the meeting room sucking his dick. I had a great night. I actually like it most when me and Byron and like this. It's so damn easy for us to flow through the whole night I am actually struggling to find words to describe it.

Annoyingly I'm sure Byron would like nothing more to weigh in at this point and say it's meaningless that we are able to do that. I'd like to point out to him we are miserable one way or another when we are not behaving like this. We get snippy with each other mainly and uptight and fraught.

Last night was a smaller version of the night before Christmas in so much as the end result was me on my knees with his dick in my mouth. I would like to go on the record as saying I'm not complaining about forever being on my knees it seems. I actually like doing that to guys - it's a power trip and I will never understand women who complain about it but I'm getting off track here.

So there is the sex so far. The lie is we're happy when it's not happening. The videotape? Well avoided disaster. Security cameras have been installed inside our offices for the first time. Luckily they are not discreet and have gone in with a lot of pomp so at least we know we got the chance to fool around in the office without starring in an inadvertent porn film....

TV Embrace

Lazy evening tonight. First day covering Work Bitch's job. Her being away has its highs and its lows. The massive positive is there's no toxic cloud wafting around the office... In addition to her noxious perfume her personality isn't that great either. 

Downside is my feet didn't touch the floor for the better part of 8 hours today. Am exhausted despite my lazy weekend. Curled up tonight with some wine and excellent tv to soothe my nerves and got to thinking. 

A few weeks ago I was approached by a TV production company asking if I was interested in putting myself forward for a new show following a group of friends around London. After much thought I declined. 

Watching Made in Chelsea tonight I'm glad I did decline. I couldn't be as honest as I am in this blog on TV. I couldn't put myself up to that level of scrutiny and on many occasions ridicule with everyone knowing who I am. 

So for tonight I'll admire those who have that level of bravery to put themselves out there. Not deliberately promoting myself here but I did briefly work with one of the Made in Chelsea people and I know enough that they're not exactly the persona on TV.

Sticking to this side of my TV screen was certainly the right choice for me. Easier to be myself that way. 

Reset. Reboot. Restart.

Oh today was weird. After last night's fight it took my and Byron a while to readjust. 

Weird day in general in the office. Filming footage for a corporate promotion film. Grim. One thing today has proved is being on TV is never going to be an option for me. 

A camera right in my face at my desk. While I'm trying to work as if nothing is happening. I dread what my facial expression was. And to think I thought the most awkward thing about my job was trying to discreetly dirty text Byron from my desk...

Commute home was the moment Byron and I dragged ourselves back onto our normal wavelength. Just laughing and joking. Only serious point was me telling him I'm going to pretend last night didn't happen and I expect him to do the same. 

And also that us not being together is the most stupid thing he's ever said. Mostly because this is the 5th time he's said this but always comes back to me. 

Last words were a joke about "getting off together" on the tube. I think in the long run we'll be fine. In the short term however I think I'm still in for a rough ride. 

Angels vs demons

Not a happy camper tonight. Work was an uphill struggle today. First four hours of the day were spent running ragged whilst achieving very little. I don't mind being insanely busy as long as it achieves something. 

Instead I achieved very little and am looking at some time in the office this weekend. Still wasn't as bad as Byron's day. He had his end of year review and let's just say it didn't go as well as mine...

We did spend all day exchanging explicit texts with one another. For someone who has spent nearly 2 weeks explaining in excruciating detail how he wants me to suck him off he apparently seriously lacks the will to actually put his cock in my mouth... That's not normal for a guy is it?

I get that he's facing a lot right now. And I really feel for him. Today was a major set back for him professionally and personally. And at the end of it he still went home to the girlfriend. Who in no way will understand what went on today. Who will in all likelihood start another argument about something trivial. 

I understand... Hell I was there today. And apparently (according to him) am smart, beautiful, funny and too nice for my own good. So why does she get to keep him?

Seriously why am I the one all alone tonight?

"It's a girl/boy thing" part 1

Today's title is a joyful way one of my friends once referred to me as. A girl/boy thing. 

To clarify I'm not a girls girl but I'm not a traditional tomboy either. One of the main things is what I like to talk about. 

In public spheres I certainly prefer blokes general banter. Not sports talk though - cant stand that. Hot girls, action films and more hot girls I'll quite happily discuss. I'd rather be with the guys in the office joking around than listening to the relationship dramas of the girls I work with. 

In private I love dirty talk - the more explicit and pornographic the better. I genuinely find it arousing rather than misogynistic. 

I've been enjoying the best of both worlds today. Publicly in the office rating Hollywood actresses. Privately trading sex positions with Byron via text message. Journey home with him was even more explicit. 

See this is what makes Byron one of my best friends ever conversation wise. Respects me at work, has a banter about the incompetence of 3rd party suppliers, trusts me to talk about serious issues that matter to him and then very casually as we walk down the street whisper in my ear in the deepest, sexiest voice you could imagine....

"I want to deep throat you and come in your mouth"

A girly girl would slap him... I whispered back "When?"...

No mans land...

Today has been weird. One message from Byron to my work email. Asking me not to contact him...

God only knows what tomorrow will bring. Byron may be single. Of course the more likely scenario is he isn't. He's so unpredictable at the moment. I'm trying to be sympathetic but he's driving me insane. 

So last week to recap was Monday - never going to happen but still kissing after work. Tuesday no contact. Wednesday no contact. Thursday was promising to be friends. Friday was a heated make out session in the office after hours...

Unpredictable doesn't come close does it?

I'll say one thing. When he likely comes in tomorrow still in a relationship I'm going to be really annoyed I missed another chance for a tumble with Player... So horny at the moment need another body on mine soon...

Amateurs vs pros

Boys will be boys. And men will eternally act like little boys regardless of advancing years. The men in my office are a nice enough bunch of lads but one can be particularly grating with his jokes. But we still love him and show his this by constantly ripping the piss out of him. 

The result is office banter that veers close to bullying but somehow works in male groups. In a group of women it is spiteful, bitchy and usually results in tears. 

I feel very special to be accepted into these groups. The token girl who can banter as well as the boys and take hits from them without throwing a wobbly. Only thing I don't care to be included on is the sport talk. That ill leave to the boys.

As for the pros of comedy been to a stand up show tonight with my kid brother. The tickets were my birthday present. Hence the late posting - only just got home. 

So amateurs or pros for comedy? I'll stick with my amateur boys for now. Better to feel part of a group than a faceless member of a crowd. Laughter amongst friends is always superior to laughing at a distant stranger on a stage.